Monday, February 4, 2013

Fiction-55: The Surprise Gift

It was her fifteenth birthday. She left for school merrily. 
 “Be back soon, there’s a surprise for you”, her mother had said.
All day she was eagerly waiting for the day’s last school-bell to toll.
Bell rang. She returned home to find some strange faces.
“Meet your new family”, her mother declared.
Her smile faded.  
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22 comments:

  1. Sri ValliFebruary 5, 2013 at 6:50 AM

    Ohw! That's a bad surprise for a birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ritesh AgarwalFebruary 18, 2013 at 11:53 AM

    A writer revels in pathos...good work

    ReplyDelete
  3. MeowwFebruary 18, 2013 at 3:04 PM

    Oh man! You've just squeezed my heart in 55words.
    :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. A Homemaker's UtopiaFebruary 18, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    Nice post Ashish..:-)

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  5. Woman'n'BeyondFebruary 19, 2013 at 12:26 AM

    OMG! The harshest feeling you managed in such few words.

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  6. RatFebruary 19, 2013 at 12:51 AM

    oh oh.. thats a pretty bad surprise.. well written 55..

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  7. Bhavana LalwaniFebruary 19, 2013 at 2:40 AM

    so it is about child marriage .. it took me a few mins to understand the surprize .. however ,,, well penned short n pointed.

    one more thing .. a humble suggestion.. yr blog background is quite dark not soothing fr eyes .. I feel it needs sm change :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AshishFebruary 19, 2013 at 2:46 AM

      Thanks for the suggestion. let me see what I can do. I liked that abstract background actually... and I love black. :)

      Delete
  8. UnknownFebruary 19, 2013 at 3:07 AM

    This is a absolute wonderful thought expressed .

    Ashish you can also check this site

    http://www.iwebcircles.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. ShowaFebruary 19, 2013 at 3:35 AM

    Wow, Brevity and making use of reader's imagination to complete the story.

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  10. BushraFebruary 19, 2013 at 4:25 AM

    Very nicely expressed!

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  11. indu chhibberFebruary 19, 2013 at 4:53 AM

    Nice thought--just a hint!

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  12. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2013 at 5:07 AM

    SOOoo sad :(

    ReplyDelete
  13. MalinyFebruary 19, 2013 at 10:45 PM

    That was too good ! beautifully crafted :)

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  14. TTTFebruary 20, 2013 at 4:48 AM

    awwww... not sure why but just for a momemt i imagined myself in that lil girls place !

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  15. UnknownApril 29, 2013 at 2:40 PM

    oops..she got a birthday blast !! :-P

    ReplyDelete
  16. PratikshyaSeptember 29, 2013 at 1:54 AM

    this was really good..

    ReplyDelete

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