Monday, February 4, 2013

Fiction-55: The Surprise Gift

It was her fifteenth birthday. She left for school merrily. 
“Be back soon, there’s a surprise for you”, her mother had said.
All day she was eagerly waiting for the day’s last school-bell to toll.
Bell rang. She returned home to find some strange faces.
“Meet your new family”, her mother declared.
Her smile faded.  

23 comments:

  1. Ohw! That's a bad surprise for a birthday!

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  2. A writer revels in pathos...good work

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  3. Oh man! You've just squeezed my heart in 55words.
    :(

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    Replies
    1. glad I could do that. :) thanks meoww

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  4. OMG! The harshest feeling you managed in such few words.

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    1. :) thanks...
      yeah. another bitter truth.

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  5. oh oh.. thats a pretty bad surprise.. well written 55..

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  6. so it is about child marriage .. it took me a few mins to understand the surprize .. however ,,, well penned short n pointed.

    one more thing .. a humble suggestion.. yr blog background is quite dark not soothing fr eyes .. I feel it needs sm change :)

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    1. Thanks for the suggestion. let me see what I can do. I liked that abstract background actually... and I love black. :)

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  7. This is a absolute wonderful thought expressed .

    Ashish you can also check this site

    http://www.iwebcircles.com/

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  8. Wow, Brevity and making use of reader's imagination to complete the story.

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  9. That was too good ! beautifully crafted :)

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  10. awwww... not sure why but just for a momemt i imagined myself in that lil girls place !

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  11. oops..she got a birthday blast !! :-P

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