Monday, February 4, 2013

Fiction-55: The Surprise Gift

It was her fifteenth birthday. She left for school merrily. 
“Be back soon, there’s a surprise for you”, her mother had said.
All day she was eagerly waiting for the day’s last school-bell to toll.
Bell rang. She returned home to find some strange faces.
“Meet your new family”, her mother declared.
Her smile faded.  

22 comments:

  1. Ohw! That's a bad surprise for a birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  2. A writer revels in pathos...good work

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh man! You've just squeezed my heart in 55words.
    :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG! The harshest feeling you managed in such few words.

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh oh.. thats a pretty bad surprise.. well written 55..

    ReplyDelete
  6. so it is about child marriage .. it took me a few mins to understand the surprize .. however ,,, well penned short n pointed.

    one more thing .. a humble suggestion.. yr blog background is quite dark not soothing fr eyes .. I feel it needs sm change :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the suggestion. let me see what I can do. I liked that abstract background actually... and I love black. :)

      Delete
  7. This is a absolute wonderful thought expressed .

    Ashish you can also check this site

    http://www.iwebcircles.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, Brevity and making use of reader's imagination to complete the story.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That was too good ! beautifully crafted :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. awwww... not sure why but just for a momemt i imagined myself in that lil girls place !

    ReplyDelete
  11. oops..she got a birthday blast !! :-P

    ReplyDelete